Ooh Child

My brain stopped chattering this morning for an instant. At first I didn’t know what to make of it. Everything was so still,and quiet. As soon as I realized why, it started up again. peppering me with names.

What does it chatter about?  Generally things that make me anxious, like my mother, my sister, my family alive and gone, every mistake I’ve ever made or thought I made. Examining, diving deeper, switching over to another anxious thought and doing it all over. For hours, day and night.   Every day.  It’s not bad when you get used to it, go with the flow so to speak. Accept it. Until that one instant this morning when I understood what it’s like to be absolutely quiet on the inside.  I want that feeling back so badly, I think I’ll double down and try harder with meditation.

And this revelation makes me think of this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dguz0IsCuKU

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