Dread and Regret and Dwelling

 

A google search for quotes on regret quickly pivots to a listing of quotes about guilt and I’m not going down that sinkhole – its light regret not dark guilt I want to talk about and I definitely don’t want to dwell there.

I am a dweller and I know it and so are a few other people I know.  This is where you take something, a random remark, an event, maybe something you did or didn’t do, or maybe it was someone else and you seize it, hold it tight, love it and don’t let it go, tuck it away, take it out now and then to feed it, fondle it, keep it alive and hating on you.  After a stroke you have a lot of time to think and dwell on everything, like:

  • the things you said that maybe you shouldn’t have
  • the things you should have said but didn’t
  • the actions you took and now regret
  • the actions you didn’t take and wish you had

 

I don’t have any of the last sort  At some point early in my life I decided to just go for each new adventure as it landed on my door and I did, and tried to do it with few regrets.  It made me friends, lost me friends, took me across Oceans, around the world and eventually back to Canada, where I find myself on this beautiful morning gazing out my windows at  the majestic mountains that surround my house from 360 degrees.

I tend to regret the  actions I didn’t take. Here I go dwelling, taking my regrets out for a spin, giving them a massage and a bit of love while they stare back at me with glowing eyes.

Don’t do it.  Don’t re-think  every mistake you ever made or think you made.  kill those little regret monsters – don’t give them a home,make them comfortable or let them dwell.  As a reformed fellow dweller said to me this morning – “we don’t do that, us Coutts-girls” and she’s right as an honorary member of the Coutts family I’m here to say we are not dwellers – it’s a dark place and a slippery slope – don’t do it – there’s no joy there.

Yesterday when I released this blog to my facebook  family and friends I didn’t know what reaction I would get so I was dreading the feedback, hoping I hadn’t made an ass of myself with my daily blog thoughts.  Thanks to everyone for your feedback.  It’s good for the soul and no regrets.

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